


Party Planning

by CC99trialanderrorgirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Arguments, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Party Planning, Pre-Slash (if you squint), Sass, Tenuous Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 05:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12162378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC99trialanderrorgirl/pseuds/CC99trialanderrorgirl
Summary: Law Number One of Party Planning:*If you don’t have too much food and booze left over at the end of the night, something has gone wrong.*Kylo educates Hux on the matter during a conversation in the cafe.





	Party Planning

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a series of conversations between myself, my boyfriend, and one of my best friends about the importance of having too much food at a party. I am Portuguese, he is Italian, and she is Jewish - so trust us, we KNOW. Too many leftovers = successful party. Anything else is failure. The thought of Kylo arguing the same based on HIS heritage popped into my head, and this story was born.

“Really, Kylo, this is completely preposterous,” Hux grumbled as he swept off the bridge. He was mildly annoyed to be striding in the wake of swirling black cloak. It was so _unnecessary. Kylo_ was so unnecessary. Which was why Hux was so annoyed to need his help.

When they had reached the officer’s cafe and commandeered a table, unceremoniously kicking out two junior officers that Hux vaguely remembered Phasma becoming sexually involved with at the last Christmas gathering, Kylo leveled Hux with an infuriatingly even stare and said flatly, “I _told_ you, Hux, I’m good at planning parties.”

Hux scoffed. “There is _nothing_ you are good at, Ren.”

Kylo scrunched up his face in annoyance; since the two men had parleyed their animosity into a fragile truce-cum-grudging-friendship, Hux had been calling him by his first name. The switch was clearly deliberate and…vexing. Kylo ignored the impulse to tighten his right fist and tried to focus on the matter at hand – showing Hux up and making him look stupid took precedence over his penchant for Force choking and gratuitous property destruction, he reminded himself.

“Look, Hux,” Kylo tried again. “You said you wanted this party to be a success, right? Boost morale ahead of the new push for manpower on Starkiller 2?”

Hux waited a beat before responding, as if sensing a trap. Kylo gloated – on the inside.

“Yessss…” Hux hissed the word out between his teeth, drawing the “s” into a hissing sound with multiple syllables. He arched one eyebrow and scowled. Glad he was sans mask at the moment (he usually lost it whenever he and Hux were alone, and after their little demonstration to the junior officers earlier, Kylo was sure no other personnel would be coming in here for a _while_ ), Kylo smiled wide and tried to channel everything his father and Lando had ever taught him about getting onto a mark’s good side before the bait-and-switch. 

It worked - but only for a moment. Hux snapped back to his surly demeanor almost immediately. Well, so much for that, _Dad_ , Kylo thought. No wonder Han was forever owing people money. But Kylo had one more trick up his sleeve.

“Look,” he said, and spread his hands wide. “I’m half Alderaanian” – he placed his left hand firmly on the table between them, palm down, for _effect_ – “and half Corellian.” He let his other hand drop, the sound echoing dramatically around the empty space.

“So?” Hux asked, clearly not getting it.

“ _So_ ,” Kylo mocked, _“obviously,_ everyone knows that to have a successful party, you need two things: good food -" he lifted his left hand to demonstrate that his Alderaanian mother had made sure he knew what good food was, and wasn't - "and good booze.” He lifted his right hand and stared at Hux with wide eyes, the connection between Corellia and booze just too obvious to explain.

Hux just blinked. Kylo rolled his eyes and continued, for the sake of Hux’s edification if nothing else. The man was such a _loser,_ honestly. Had he _ever_ had a nanosecond of fun in his entire life? Kylo was willing to bet on no - which was saying something, since he was godfathered by a professional gambler; Kylo Ren knew how to access the odds.

He kept his gaze level and his eyes hard, watching the man across the table. After a moment, Hux started to say something, but Kylo was already impatient and cut Hux off, his tone patronizing and intense.

“Look, let me put it this way: If you don’t have too much food and booze left over at the end of the night, _something has gone wrong_.” He shot Hux a look as if to say, _duh_ , and then stood up in a flourish of black.

Just as he was about to leave, he turned back and offered – he was so magnanimous, honestly - “When you’re ready to get serious, Hux, you know where to find me.”

And with that, he was gone, and Hux was left sitting at the table alone, fuming, because _dammit,_ it was quite obvious that Kylo fucking Ren was _right – Hux needed his help._

Ugh.

Really, he’d rather Kylo had just destroyed the cafe. He could deal with the requisition forms and billing for repairs. It was the man himself that was _most_ insufferable. Rubbing his temples, Hux muttered a strong string of curses under his breath – a luxury he had rarely allowed himself in the past but which had become a much more common occurrence since the introduction of Kylo Ren into his life – and contemplated the best strategy to use for approaching Ren for help.


End file.
